Tamlin POV CH 765
by Kalaelizabeth
Summary: Much needed Tamlin POV from ACOWAR


As I made my way to the clearing bloodied and battered, I felt it. Felt the ground sag, felt the magic give out and felt that booming power fizzle into nothing. I felt him die. Before I even reached them, I knew Rhysand was dead.

I didn't know what to feel, didn't know what to think. Was this my own revenge finally come, was this some kind of sick twisted ending where both Feyre and I would end up alone and heart broken? I couldn't have her, and she couldn't have him. A sick and twisted fate.

I didn't know until I reached them … and saw her face.

She was covered in blood and dirt, and yet still was as beautiful as ever. Her hair, though messy and tangled as it was, partly fell into her face, covering those beautiful eyes. Her body was strong and the power ebbed around her, though duller than before. She was screaming something and I hadn't realized I wasn't listening as I just stared at her and took her in.

I hadn't really looked at her, not in all these months she'd been with him. Hadn't noticed how full her body was, how bright her eyes were, how full her heart seemed. I thought it to be a lie, thought it to be some kind of cruel joke. I believed Rhysand had stolen her, taken her and twisted her innocent mind, and made her into some kind of monster. But this was no monster before me.

This was a High Lady.

This woman before me was strong and courageous and had fought on this battle field, and sacrificed everything she loved for peace. For her old people, for her new people and for her newly founded family. It did not matter that some were fae, some human. She wanted peace for everyone, fought for everyone. Had she always been this courageous? Had she always had this strength? Why didn't I see it before?

Was I the only who held her back, kept her from being this, kept her from being her?

Sobs ran through my ears, the sound of her breaking, The sound of the woman I still loved breaking before me, again.

Except it wasn't her neck this time. It was her heart breaking. For Rhysand.

Her savior, her High Lord, her mate … was dead.

I hadn't ever been mated before, could only imagine that bond, but I thought Feyre would be my mate and when she had died … when she had died a part of me did too. And when she was brought back into this world I fought for her and vowed to never let her get hurt again … and I thought - thought I was doing the right thing.

Maybe I'm the monster, maybe I never deserved such a beautiful creature. Maybe the Cauldron knew all along, that Rhysand was not the monster, but I was.

The sobs turned to screaming. The sound bringing me back to reality.

She was demanding. Ordering. Like a High Lady.

Whatever was inside me, whatever monster I had become finally realized, finally accepted that this was the Cauldron's fate. I was not her mate, I was not her savior, I was not anything to her.

I wish I could have given her more, fixed all that I had broken, could go back and change what I had done. But in this moment, in this horrible death filled moment all I could do was offer what little part of me I still had.

I finally looked at her, held her eyes for only a second and saw everything she was, everything she had became, because of him.

And I let her go.

I reached into myself and gave her a part of me, what magic I had left. It didn't matter that Rhysand would be the one to receive my magic, it was for her and her alone. It was an apology, it was a shot at redemption, and a goodbye all at once.

"Be Happy Feyre" I finally let out. My words almost a whisper.

As she stared at me, eyes wild and powerful, so full of life and love, I knew it was the right thing to do. To let her have her real happiness.

When Rhysand took a breath, her eyes left mine. And when he finally came back to this life, back to her, she looked as if the very life had been brought back to her, that her heart was complete. Rhysand was her heart, her life, her everything.

And she deserved it.

I wished for her to be happy. For them to be happy.

I didn't stay a second longer, the battle was over and my fight was done.

I left them in that clearing, on that battlefield, and walked away.


End file.
